3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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