So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
