Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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