Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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