when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
