After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
