Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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