and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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