I'm going to jail i love you
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
