Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
