I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
