She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
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Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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