if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
it was like eating out sand paper
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
