now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
