Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
