I could make wine with my vomit
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
