I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
