quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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