This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
