You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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