She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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