if you like me you must not know who I am
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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