the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize