He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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