I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
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He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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