That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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