so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
did i just pee glitter
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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