Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How does it feel to date your dad?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
