Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
