found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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