i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
