we're making bets on your personal life
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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