Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize