do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
