I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
