i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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