I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
