drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
