Say something about gay babies.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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