I bet he comes in French.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
