I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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