My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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