The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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