God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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