I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
