At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
