all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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