Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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