So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i think im in europe. pls send help
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
