woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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