never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
