She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
