Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
being pregnant is like rehab
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
