his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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