wat bout pragnant strippers??
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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