i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
