if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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