I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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