Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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