Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
