you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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