Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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