The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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