Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
