Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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(631): View more from New York

stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.

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(850): View more from Florida

HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier

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(520): View more from Arizona

We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.

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(641): View more from Iowa

This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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(217): View more from Illinois

The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.

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(714): View more from California

I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...

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