i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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