I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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