It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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