You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
