How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
