you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
